Playing ain't what it used to be

Do you know what would be a cool job? Designing children's play equipment. See, from what I was able to dredge out of my ancient brain, when I was a kid, a jungle gym was a jungle gym. You had your basic monkey bars, a slide or two and that was it. If it was a good park, there might be some swings or perhaps you'd hit the jackpot and there would be a tire swing.

It is my personal opinion that all the tire swings are now gone from the world because a park designer actually witnessed them being used once. This then caused that person to say "Holy crap, what were we thinking?!?!?!?"

Tire swings were one of the most deadly things ever invented and marketed toward children. I don't know what you did on a tire swing when you were a kid, but I know that I would pile on it with a whole bunch of other kids, WAY more than the recommended number, which I believe might have been three, and some big huge kid in junior high that was technically too old to be getting his jollies at a park anyway would push the big ol' hog pile of kids up into the stratosphere. Whoever was the littlest on the swing would get scared and start crying, which always made the big kid push harder. This continued until somebody fell off and bit it in the sawdust or little pebbles or whatever else they thought would be a "safe" landing zone for little kids being launched at a velocity of 238 miles an hour off of a tire swing.

It always ended in blood. And not once did it ever occur to us not to get on the damn thing, because hey, everyone else was doing it and didn't it look like so much fun? So I'm very glad that I've never seen one in all the parks I've ever taken my son to.

So clearly, somebody came through in the past 15-20 years since I was a kid and remodeled all the parks to take out the death traps for children and replace them with newfangled high tech, specially enginerered developmentally formulated fancy play equipment 3000.

The stuff they have at parks these days is beyond anything my poor little raised in the '80s mind could possibly dream of. There are bridge and weird step things, and seesaws that are fun without being launch pads for the smaller child. There are 543 kinds of slides and 83,434 things for kids to climb up and on. And somehow, they've kept the fear of death right there on the surface of the equipment (because that's what little kids want when they go to the park, right?) but taken the actual RISK of death down to a reasonable .5 percent or so. I mean, nothing is perfectly safe, and you have to just assume that if your 2-year-old is playing too close to a snarky 7-year-old that pushing could happen at any moment. But seriously, they guard rails are better, the materials are better (no more splinters from wooden equimpent, or burns from metal slides) and the creativity is better.

All this stems from my taking Ben to a park in Renton that I used to go to as a child and being bowled over at what has been done with the place since I was last there. They had two play structures, one that was labeled "Appropriate for children ages 2-5" and another that was labeled "Appropriate for ages 6-12."

Want to guess which one Ben wanted to play on? Thankfully, it was during school, so there were no actual 6-12 year olds to mow him down, but I was up there with him, standing behind him every step of the way, because there was some scary looking stuff up there and I didn't know what to expect. My child has been known to pull a "Chuckie" every once in awhile, and I figured I should be around to help him find his way down.

To his credit, he was amazingly brave. The thing that struck me the most about this play structure was they had a place up high where there were some stairs that had gaps in between them. You could see ALL THE WAY DOWN and of course the gaps were small enough that the worst that could happen is Ben's foot could get caught or maybe he might fall all the way to his waist. That would take some effort though. But to my toddler, it looked like THE BIGGEST SCARIEST THING HE'D EVER SEEN!!!!

He had both hands superglued to the vertical handrailing (like crib bars) as he carefully placed one foot on the first step. I verbally coached him through it, telling him to move his hands to the next blue bar while putting his foot on the next step. There were six total steps and when he made it to the top without my having to help or even hold his hand, I gave him like 20 highfives and a big hug and told him how proud I was. He was beaming.

And then I cried because I know it's moments like these that I'll think back to when he's adjusting his tie on his wedding day and asking me how he looks. The answer?

Absolutely perfect.



(boy, this post ended up in a completely different place than it started out, huh?)

Seeking buzz?

I've been trying to get a little more exposure for this blog, so I submitted a post to Buzzfuse.com, which is supossed to distribute your material to a large group of interested people. I have no idea if it will work, but it was really easy to sign up. The downside is that they wouldn't let me market my first post without sending an email invite to at least five friends. So if you are one of those friends and you're not interested in this, let me know, and I'll take you off. In my opinion, that wasn't realy the point. My friends already read my stuff. I'm interested in meeting NEW people, you know? But I guess even if I get just a few new readers from doing this, that's better than nothing, right? I mean, it's free, so what have I got to lose?

Tattletale

Joe and I had a nice talk the other night. I told him that if no one else was going to talk to him about sex than I would. He interupted me to say "Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't do it." And I said that I was a teenager once and am not going to just say don't do it because that's how dumb things happen. I said that he could talk to me and if he needed anything but was too embarassed to go buy it, then I would go for him. I know that teenagers are going to have sex when they're going to have sex regardless of anything any adult says, so he might as well be protected. The last thing we need is 16-year-old Joe becoming a father. I shudder at the thought.

Anyway, at this point, he admits that Harley is on bc and she already has condoms for if they need them. They haven't done anything yet though. I'm glad to hear this, as they haven't really been together for very long, but I can see it coming a mile away. He loves her already, and I think maybe she loves him too. She's quite a catch and I just hope that neither of them end up with an STD or a broken heart.

So I've been feeling pretty close with Joe recently, and things have been looking up. But then, I found a bunch of ASH in the car I'm sharing with Joe. (Actually, Ben found it, as it was all over his carseat and he decided it looked yum yum yummers. Eww.) So I called my mom to ask if she knew of any reason there might be ash in the car. OK, mostly, I called to whine and complain about it because I was bitchy and it made me feel better to know that Joe was going to get in trouble for whatever the hell he did that got ASH in the car. I mean, he's not really my brother, and I could care less what he does as long as he stays out of my way and behaves himself (as in, not doing stupid illegal things like driving with Harley in the car or anything else dumb like that.)

But in order for this to occur, he would have to stop stealing all the gas I put in the car, which has been happening more and more recently and be straight with me when I ask him questions like "Why the hell was there ash all over the inside of the car?"

So I ratted on him. Big deal. Seriously, teenagers NEED someone to keep them from killing themselves or else they'll just keep on getting into more and more trouble. I should know, I was one.

Anyway, as we aren't really siblings, it's kind of weird having this relationship where it feels exactly like having a whiny kid brother who I love and care about, but still have the urge to shout "MOM!!!!!! Joe got ash in the car and owes me at least $15 in gas money."

Sometimes living here really feels like getting the childhood/teenagehood that I never got to have due to whatshisbucket ...

Shiny and clean

I am not a particularly vain person, but I do love my hair. Most people who met me briefly probably wouldn't think much about it, because I usually just throw it back in a ponytail. But the thing about ponytails is that then the hair is there when you need it. You can do it up or let it down or curl it or straighten it or whatever you feel like doing. Sometimes, I do my hair nicely just to remember what it looks like, since mostly it's just wash and go.

I was happy to receive natural shampoo and conditioner samples in the mail because I am a total hair product junkie. The idea of a natural shampoo that is good for both my hair and the environment is very appealing. I have to admit that my first concern was, would it work? I mean, those pesky chemicals are there for a reason! To scrub out the other crappy chemicals like hairspray and gel and whatever else. Also, applesauce. (I'm a mom, what can I say?)

Thankfully, I had a rich lather instantly, and my hair came squeaky clean. But that was just half the test. For me, the real reason I've tried practically every single hair product out there is because I'm in an eternal search for conditioner that will weigh down my frizzies. Thankfully, the naked naturals conditioner did a great job of making my curls separate and look cute.

See?



(Of course, I never really look like this because my 2-year-old doesn't let me do my hair. So normally I'm either wearing a towel on my head, or I've got my hair shoved in a sloppy ponytail.)

The best part about the free samples is that they came with a $1 off coupon for the product. Oh, and the part where my hair smelled like lavendar. Mmmm. Nice :-)

How embarassing

I posted a cool poll on my livejournal about cleaning and privacy, and I'd just like to say that it is apparently time for me to hide under a rock and die. Or something. No, really. All those "You're supossed to do that?" answers were mine. And the "When company is coming" type answers. Especially the sheets and the bathroom. Le sigh. At least I'm lucky enough to be married to someone who is the same way as I am. I mean, maybe my house would be cleaner if I married a neatfreak, but he'd probably be really grumpy with me all the time.

And as for the other questions, they were mostly inspired by learning that my BIL and his girlfriend (they live together) leave the door open when the use the potty. And have conversations! While pooping!!!!! This horrified me. I have major stagefright and won't go any kind of potty in front of anyone. Well, Ben in an emergency, but it's really not my preference.

Le sigh. Thankfully, you're not required to disclose your own answers if you don't want to :-)

Help and support for paid bloggers

The paid blogging industry is something that has a lot more layers than you might thing when you first sign up. I learned about writing sponsored posts from someone I didn't even know in the breastfeeding community on livejournal. I was asking questions about egg donation because we were so desparate for a financial solution. So before I knew it, I was working for payperpost and writing sponsored posts for a few extra bucks. I've since joined a few other outfits like Smorty and SponsoredReviews and really put my heart and soul into this work. It's like a JOB for me, and it's really made a huge difference.

But apparently there's like politics involved, and all sorts of changes keep on coming about. First there was the pagerank issues and then the realrank stuff. Plus there's the fact that ppp seems to deeply dislike all free hosts, but livejournal in particular. More than anything, it really helps to talk to other posties (people who write sponsored posts) about what's going on and how to do better. I am really proud of how far I've come in the sponsored post business, but let me tell you, none of it would have been possible without the help of both friends and strangers who have done it all before and had some wisdom to lend me.

Seriously, before I started doing this, I didn't know ANY html, not even a simple href. Now I know how to embed photos and video and all sorts of cool stuff. How? By asking around. But eventually, you run out of friends, or everyone gets tired of hearing the same stuff. I mean, my blog is supossed to be for and about ME, you know? It's frustrating enough to read through all the sponsored posts without having to read a bunch of posts ABOUT them as well.

Anyway, I found this really awesome Web site that provides support to posties (from all companies, but especially ppp) and a place to complain and vent in a free place. It's not owned by any of the sponsored post companies, but still moderated to keep things ontopic. Everyone I've met there has been really nice and helpful, and of course it's free to joing. Go check them out!

Sick again

Everyone at my house has been sick in the last three weeks, so I wasn't surprised when I started feeling ill last Saturday. I didn't figure I'd be lucky enough to escape. But how come everyone else got off with a sore throat and cough and I had to end up puking in my friend's toilet? Huh? Could someone please explain the fairness of that? I mean, our trip was meant to be for Stephen's birthday so he could have "adult time" and sit down and play a game and talk and stuff, and I managed to be all ill and lightheaded and go to bed early and ruin it. Nice. Good thing I didn't crash the car or anything too ... wait ...