Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Saving the world, one political idea at a time

My beliefs are becoming more and more conservative as I get older. I am against pornography in all shapes sizes and forms for everyone always and I'm against abortion, not because I believe it should be illegal or that I'm not for a woman's right to choose, but just that all these pregnancies should be prevented in the first place, you know? I don't want it to be illegal, it just seems like there should be a better way.

I read an opinion piece called Two mommies can be better than one, which got me thinking about how so much more could get done if liberals and conservatives could just shut up and work together on some important stuff. One the one hand, we've got gay and lesbian couples who want children. We've also got "traditional" couples who want to adopt, either because they are infertile or because they think it's better to take in a baby who needs a home than to create one, or whatever. On the other hand, we've got like 97 trillion abortions per year. These women don't want their babies. Personally, I couldn't tell you why they choose abortion over adoption, in particular, other than the fact that I suspect they worry they'd want to keep the baby once they met him/her, and so they abort the pregnancy and try not to ever think of it as a baby at all.

One of the problems I see with the current adoption process is that it is very expensive to adopt a newborn baby. There are waiting lists and attorney fees and medical costs (the birthmother pays next to nothing for her pregnancy if she is giving up her baby for adoption) and a lot of people can't afford it. With the current process, we ensure only the very rich can adopt a baby if they choose to go that route. The middle class and the poor have to resort to having their own.

So why is it that insurance will pay for you to have your own baby, but won't pay for you to adopt one? I would like to see changes made that enable a woman who would like to adopt a child to place the birthmother's medical care under her own insurance, just as if she were the one who were pregnant. This will help more middle and working class people to afford adoption, and maybe if it were more commonplace, there would be less of a stigma about it. (You're ADOPTED?!?!?! WOW! I've never met anyone who was adopted before!) I believe that this is a factor in many adoption decisions. I've actually met people who are against adoption, and the only argument that holds any water with me is that it can be traumatic to a child to be so "different" and to believe they were unwanted. I guess it's true that if you are aborted, you don't have these emotional issues. But really, if you'd rather be dead than have issues, raise your hand.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

So, the key is to normalize adoption, (much like breast-feeding!) so that these teen/single/poor/drug addicted/immature/whatever else moms with no where to turn can be praised for doing the right thing for their babies. If adoption were less of a burden for the adoptive parents than it is now, perhaps more people would want to do it.

I'd much rather see a gay or lesbian couple adopt a baby from a mother who would have otherwise had an abortion than create one using expensive, invasive and risky medical procedures. It seems like it would be an issue too, as to which parent is the biologically related one. If the baby is adopted, the parents would be on equal ground. I agree with the article that a child would be better off with good gay parents than with bad hetero ones, or a single mom. I don't believe there's any harm to a child who is raised by two mommies or two daddies. But lay off with the IVF and sperm donation and such. There are enough unwanted kids in this world. You don't need to spend $100,000 to make one of your own, just so it has your genes. Adopt a baby and donate the rest of the money to an orphanage or create a college scholarship for underprivileged kids or something. Heck, save the money to send your own kid to college.

It just seems so simple to me. Miss Pregnant-at-15, meet Mr. and Mr. Want-a-baby. You have a baby coming and don't want it. They are looking for a baby of their own but can't have one. Figure it out!


Jessi said...

I agree that adoption should be easier. It's a shame it's so expensive and difficult. Insurance should cover adoption in the same way that it covers childbirth.
However, lesbian couples deserve to decide to have a child any way they like. A lot of women want to experience being pregnant, giving birth, breastfeeding. I don't think they should have to sacrifice that desire. They shouldn't be made to feel guilty for such a desire, either.

thesynergizer said...

Yeah, if I really wanted to be fair, I would say that hetero couples owe it to the world to adopt instead of have their own kids, too. But its kind of hard for me to say that. You know, with the glass house issue and all.

But I think we can agree that if gay guys want a baby, it shouldn't really matter whether they adopt one that is genetically related to one of them or not ... right? What's a bunch of sperm anyway?

You do know that you can breastfeed an adopted baby, right? Many people do.