Oyster going to read this post?

"What did the clam say to the oyster?"

"Is that a pearl in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

Hardy har har.

If you actually laughed at that, I'll be amazed, because I made it up myself.


But seriously, this post isn't just about lame jokes. I wanted to pass along some important information that I was recently reminded of. This isn't a big deal for me now, since I decided to go Kosher-style a few years ago and give up treif, but it could definitely impact a lot of my friends.

There are some important rules about seafood consumption that not everyone knows about. If you are going to eat raw or undercooked Gulf oysters, then you need to know what the risks are. A lot of people can do this (it's considered a delicacy) without any problems, but if you are in an at-risk group, you should think twice before risking your health. The Web site can tell you what all the at-risk groups are, but for now, I'm just going to talk about one in particular. Pregnant women.

I went to a barbecue at a co-workers house when I was about 14-15 weeks pregnant. Most people knew because I'd announced it by then, but I wasn't quite showing obviously yet. I looked bigger, but it could have just been me gaining weight. A woman I didn't know very well had brought some oysters and they were cooking some on the grill, but also eating them raw. It was almost trusth-or-dare style, one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen adults do. Trying to intimidate people who thought it was gross into trying them. And of course, when I politely declined, they started razzing me too.

I didn't feel like they deserved an explination. It wasn't their business why I didn't want an oyster and I didn't deserve to be peer-pressured by 40 year olds. How lame. Anyway, I got pissed off enough that I just left and went inside. Later, the woman who brought the oysters came and apologized. She said she had no idea that I was pregnant and I was right not to do it. Raw oysters are bad news for the unborn. I gave her a look and didn't say much. I just wished that people would mind their own business at that point.

But I'm passing this information along because it occurs to me now that maybe she really thought she was helping. For all she knew, I was refusing because I thought it was gross and then would get brave later and go try them just to make a point. So since I never told her "I'm not eating them because I'm pregnant" she felt she should make sure I knew it was unsafe.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about sleeping on your back while pregnant too, which she didn't know was unsafe, so I figured I should go ahead and pass this along. Maybe I'll save a baby today :-)

I'd like to purchase a time machine

The only good news I can report at this particular moment is that Ben went to bed at the fantastically beautiful time of 8:15. And that's not down to bed at 8:15, that's ASLEEP at 8:15. I've seen nothing like this in months and months and months. But at the same time, I haven't had a day like today in um, ever?

Our day started well. I woke up and we nursed. My alarm went off and I actually was able to get out of bed, so I scooped Ben up and carried him upstairs, stripped him down fast and put him on the potty. Ta-da!!! Dry diaper, overnight :-) That's right, I'm a potty-training genius. Yay! I suddenly felt a lot better about the $7 I spent last night on an online potty training course. (I wouldn't recommend it if things are going fine, but if you're having problems, it does have a few good tips. Probably worth about half of what I paid for it, but hey, $7 is not that much to begin with. Since a lot of things on the Internet turn out to be a scam, I'm happy that it was useful at all. It's actually one of the ads on the top of this page "potty training in 3 days" so check it out if you're interested.)

Anyway, I digress already.

He peed, we watched Backyardigans, we went to art class. It was an Easter-themed day, and I even thought about not going, but decided we'd paid for it and he'd have fun. He doesn't know bunnies and eggs have anything to do with the J-dude. So we did some fun projects and when class was over, lo and behold, he was still dry!!! Yay again. We went to the public restroom but he was too distracted. So I bribed him with candy to stay dry all the way home. He did, we made it and he went in the potty again!!!! A potty-training goddess, that's me.

Then we had lunch and nap. I set a nice alarm so I'd know what time to go get him to make sure he made it to the potty in time (if he wakes up naturally, he never makes it) Well, of course, he woke up 3 minutes before the alarm. And wet his pants. Ah, well. To be expected.

The next pee was when we were outside playing in the yard. We of course tried to go before playtime, but he didn't go. So I set an alarm on my cell phone for 3:45 to try again. Every 20 minutes until they go. Want to know when he went? Three mintues before the alarm went off. Great.

So now, it's late afternoon. We watched some tv. We did some potty sits. Nothing. Time went by. He got up a lot. More time passed. The more sure I was that he had to go, the more he refused to even sit at all. We tried the big potty. We tried the little potty. He screamed, "No potty!" Oh dear. I saw the carpet accident coming a mile away and had no idea what to do.

But thankfully we figured it out. I put on Penguin Movie which we haven't seen in eons. He peed right in the potty before the previews even STARTED! Yup, sure you didn't have to go. But what I can't understand is why he hates the potty later in the day. Seriously, each potty visit is harder than the last and by the end of the day he basically refuses to go at all. Our last accident was actually when Stephen was watching him and he was sitting on the massage table. Stephen actually got a little mad which is kind of unusual for him.

Le sigh.

By the time I got Ben to the bath, we were all insanely tired. He'd been screaming and getting into things and making a big ol mess of anything he came near. We get into the bathroom, and he goes for the toilet paper. About a third of a roll in .5 seconds. And then he threw a bunch of it in the bath. AGHHGHGHHGHGHHHHHH!!!

Things were better in the bath, he calmed down some and did some listening. All was going well until we got out. He tried to get back in, with his towel and I told him that bath was all done. So he bolted straight to the toilet paper. Double handed unrolling. And as much of it as possible into the draining bath. In an instant.

So. Onto the title of this post. I thought to myself while nursing Ben to sleep, what happened to my baby?

This lead me to two separate trains of thought. Why on earth would I want ANOTHER child when I'm so close to strangling this one? What makes me think that I could watch two? And live? They'll tag team me ... one will destroy things while the the other cries and then I'll go to clean up the destroyed stuff and someone will bite or pinch or cry and then I'll lose one and I just can't imagine what the hell I'm thinking.

But I really thought about why it is that I want another baby. Not just the two kids was always the goal in the long run. Not just so much that I want a daughter so much that it physcially hurts me to think about it for too long. It's that I want my baby back. And since Ben will never get younger, the only way to recaptures those wonderful sweet little newbaby moments is to have another one.

I wondered if people would have so many kids if there were time machines and you could just go back and visit your first at any age. Hmmm.

Cause seriously, if Stephen came to me and said "Throw out your pills! Let's make a baby tonight!!!!" I'm not sure I could do it. I am THAT tired.

I spent the whole six and a half hours that I slept last night dreaming about potty training. That's right, dry pants are so much a part of my life now that they're infecting my dreams.

I just want a little break.

PS: the newest good news is that it turns out that not only did he go to sleep at 8:15, he did it BY HIMSELF with zero get ups. Wow. That's one tired kid.

Music to my ears

Ha ha. I started out yesterday talking about the $4 video we got for Ben at Ross and ended up talking about why we got a new one but never actually explained what it was.

It’s like a knock-off Baby Einstein type product (which I do not approve of for babies, but think is fine for 2-year-olds) about the four seasons. It’s mostly real film of things like flowers, kids at the park, kids at the beach, fireworks, kids at a pumpkin patch (dressed up in costume — so cute) kids playing in leaves, kids sledding and some holiday lights. They even include a menorah, which makes me smile.

The whole thing is set to classical music so you can have it on while you do the dishes in the other room and not have to pull out your hair. At the very end, it switches to the ABC song (so you know its almost over and your kid’s gonna start looking for trouble) and amazingly, it seems to be teaching Ben his ABCs even better than Elmo. He knows about 1/3 of the letters now. A-H, and then O-U ish. And Z. Sort of. I think he thinks the letter is named “and Z” because he always says “and Z.” It’s too totally cute. Definitely worth $4.

Strollin along

When Ben was a little baby, I believed in baby-wearing with all my heart. I alternated between two slings and a front pack whenever we went out. I tried to keep him as close to me as possible because he used to cry if he thought he was being ignored. We got the best use out of our baby carriers when he was about 8 to 15 months old. But the older he got, the more he objected to being carried. Plus, he was getting heavy! So my husband dragged out our old stroller one day when we were planning to go for a walk, and I thought, “This will never last. He’ll be begging to get out in a few minutes.” Well, that walk lasted for more than an hour and that’s when we knew that he was finally old enough and secure enough to just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

Of course, that doesn’t mean its that easy on us parents though. The stroller is a hand-me-down and the steering is atrocious. It’s awkward to push and really bulky to store, even when it is folded up. I would have replaced it, except that I figured that one stroller was as good as another.

Boy did I have no idea. Talk about being on the edge of trendy! This company Mutsy, has created a truly innovative new stroller design. They convert from a bassinet style to a car seat holder to an upright stroller for an older child. They almost look like a luggage cart with a baby seat attached. The style seems like it’s right out of a futurist movie like “I Robot.”

I really like the college navy and the college khaki (whether they are implying that its for college student moms or college-bound babes, I’m not quite sure, but they are still really stylish.)

But my kid is so smart!

My stepmom sent this to me. It's been bugging me all day, in that I feel frustrated and defensive but can't see why I should. I mean, I want to be like, "Dude I was reading at age 2 and I turned out great!" but that's the dumbest thing in the world to say. I was also formula-fed, and that doesn't mean that its OK just because I got lucky and didn't suffer any problems. I am the first person to research these types of thnigs, cosleeping, nursing, letting little kids be little and all that jazz. But I'm so freaking proud that Ben is so smart and that he is not even two and knows so many letters already: B, o, f, and sometimes a and n. We read to him all the time. Isn't that what ALL the experts say? Read to your kids? Chicka Chicka Boom Boom is like his favorite book on the planet. I mean, I'm all for creative art play and playdough and stuff.

I dunno. I think I'm feeling this discontent because she's probably right and I'm probably not going to change anything which is going to make me feel guilty in the long run. I guess.

letter:

Hi Suz,
 
I found the information about early vs later reading.  It basically has to do with where the child is developmentally.  Young children are very imaginative and think in pictures – if you cut this short by moving too soon to reading and other ‘left brain’ activities, then you start losing some of that lovely, imaginative quality to their lives.
 
What I have found is that parents should ‘follow’ their child, just like you did with breast-feeding; wait to ‘teach’ reading until he is developmentally ready. 
 
Here is part of the article about Waldorf education, and more importantly, about what is going on with kids at what age.  Of course, they also don’t have kids watch any TV until I can’t remember – 7 or 8?
 
It is your decision of course – I just wanted to make this material available to you and Stephen, because the culture around us all tends to say: ‘teach em early’.  Just like it says ‘put them in their own bed from day 1’ and other stuff.

An Introduction to Waldorf Education
Don’t Rush the Young Child
Storytelling, songs, rhythmical games, handwork, painting, singing, and lots of free play with toys that lend themselves to many uses, help to develop both imaginative forces and social skills. A child lives with a constantly growing mastery of the physical world. In these early years, a young child’s thought has a pictorial and dreamy quality, quite unlike the thinking of an adult.  Formative forces are still working to mold the young body and brain.  At about age seven, these forces are freed to develop memory and intellect.  Prematurely awakening a child’s intellect by asking the child to focus on academics in what should be the imitative phase, means that full development of imaginative powers will be hampered. The child will become less truly himself.

The value of early academics has never been proven, but its harm has been clearly documented by such internationally recognized psychologists as David Elkind and educators such as A. C. Harwood.  No two children are alike in the way they learn.  Reading, like walking, speaking, and thinking, appears when the child is mature enough to integrate all the skills needed.  True, reading can be hurried, but there is a cost: emotionally, psychologically, and/or academically. 

A study by the Gesell Institute measured reading skills of children who began reading at age 3 to 5, against the skills of children who began reading much later, at age 6 to 8. The study found that by the third grade both groups of children had similar skill level, but the children who began reading later had a much greater interest in exploring reading.

Waiting until a child is in first grade before starting academic work has obvious advantages for an average or slow child who needs the time to gain maturity before beginning reading or math.  But what to do with the bright child who wants to start writing or reading at age three or four? Here is a chance to share their excitement and declare “You will be able to learn all about that when you get to first grade!”.  You need not sit down and give the children formal lessons at a young age, merely because they are interested in letters and numbers. There are many letter and number games for young children that can provide satisfaction.  Songs with rhymes counting can also be an endless source of delight to the young child.Tell a story or read from one book at a sitting, allowing the child to fully enter into the mood of each story.

Would you like mayo on that?

I drempt that I was pregnant and all I could keep down was mayo and I was eating it out of the jar. Just so you know, I hate mayo and woke up very grossed out, and yet for some reason was compelled to put some on my turkey sandwich at lunch today. What?!?!

Do you know how much trouble I would be in if I were actually pregnant? Dude, next summer is going to come along soon enough. We just got Ben sleeping in his own room, he's still nursing, though much less than before, and I haven't even started sleeping through the whole night yet myself! The last thing I need is to have to force wean or deal with the creepy crawlies that come from nursing while pregnant.

So why the mayo? I could not even begin to tell you.

It's my party, I'll micromanage if I want to

I know I said I was much more excited for Ben’s birthday than mine but that was totally back in September. It’s only 25 more days until my golden birthday! (Ever since a friend called it that, I’ve been way more giddy about turning 26 on the 26th.)

It looks like we are going to have a party of some sort. I would like to invite a lot of people, so it’s like the cool parties at Jessi and Jerry’s house. I wish I knew how to phrase things correctly though.

Here is what I want to say on the invites, but I probably need a better way to say it then this:

Suzanne is having a golden birthday party! She is turning 26 on the 26th and thinks this is the greatest thing ever. She also thinks you are a cool person and are therefore invited. Feel free to bring your spouse or partner. The party starts at 5:30 p.m. and kids are welcome.

Here comes the tricky part

However, please plan to either lay them down or leave the party when they get cranky. Suzanne cannot stand to listen to tired, crying children, especially on her birthday. It’s hard for kids to behave themselves when they are tired. And when tired kids cry and then get in trouble for doing things when they can’t help themselves, Suzanne has to go into the bathroom and cry too.

If you have reason to believe that your kids will have trouble going to sleep in a strange place and are interested in socializing with adults and having a few drinks in the later hours of the evening, please get a baby-sitter.


I know its my party, and I could just put a hard and fast rule, like many brides do, that says something like “No kids after 8:30 p.m.” or something. Or worse, “No kids at all.” But that’s hardly fair because Ben will be there until his bedtime. People will be mad if I say they can’t bring there kids and ours is there, being a ham.

Plus, I have some out of town friends with kids. I’d love to see the kids and have them hang out with Ben and stuff, but if I tell them they have to ditch at 8:30 because they brought their kids, they probably won’t come at all or won’t bring their kids at all. That’s sad. I want the kids there, REALLY! Those people are welcome to lay their kids down if they are cranky, or something.

Maybe I could hire a baby-sitter to watch all the kids together ... though that still doesn’t eliminate the cranky problem. Seriously though, when people have their toddlers up past midnight and then spank them for doing things like climbing on the dining room table, I really do have to leave the room and go cry in the bathroom. I know it’s their choice to parent however they want to and not any of my business (hense the not saying anything at the time) but I do not want it happening on my golden birthday.

Suggestions are welcome.

PS: This is an open party. If I know you, even just online, most likely you’re invited. Drop me an e-mail if you really think you might be able to come. If I know you, but you live very far away, I won’t hold my breath, but you’re still invited. :-)