I'd like to purchase a time machine

The only good news I can report at this particular moment is that Ben went to bed at the fantastically beautiful time of 8:15. And that's not down to bed at 8:15, that's ASLEEP at 8:15. I've seen nothing like this in months and months and months. But at the same time, I haven't had a day like today in um, ever?

Our day started well. I woke up and we nursed. My alarm went off and I actually was able to get out of bed, so I scooped Ben up and carried him upstairs, stripped him down fast and put him on the potty. Ta-da!!! Dry diaper, overnight :-) That's right, I'm a potty-training genius. Yay! I suddenly felt a lot better about the $7 I spent last night on an online potty training course. (I wouldn't recommend it if things are going fine, but if you're having problems, it does have a few good tips. Probably worth about half of what I paid for it, but hey, $7 is not that much to begin with. Since a lot of things on the Internet turn out to be a scam, I'm happy that it was useful at all. It's actually one of the ads on the top of this page "potty training in 3 days" so check it out if you're interested.)

Anyway, I digress already.

He peed, we watched Backyardigans, we went to art class. It was an Easter-themed day, and I even thought about not going, but decided we'd paid for it and he'd have fun. He doesn't know bunnies and eggs have anything to do with the J-dude. So we did some fun projects and when class was over, lo and behold, he was still dry!!! Yay again. We went to the public restroom but he was too distracted. So I bribed him with candy to stay dry all the way home. He did, we made it and he went in the potty again!!!! A potty-training goddess, that's me.

Then we had lunch and nap. I set a nice alarm so I'd know what time to go get him to make sure he made it to the potty in time (if he wakes up naturally, he never makes it) Well, of course, he woke up 3 minutes before the alarm. And wet his pants. Ah, well. To be expected.

The next pee was when we were outside playing in the yard. We of course tried to go before playtime, but he didn't go. So I set an alarm on my cell phone for 3:45 to try again. Every 20 minutes until they go. Want to know when he went? Three mintues before the alarm went off. Great.

So now, it's late afternoon. We watched some tv. We did some potty sits. Nothing. Time went by. He got up a lot. More time passed. The more sure I was that he had to go, the more he refused to even sit at all. We tried the big potty. We tried the little potty. He screamed, "No potty!" Oh dear. I saw the carpet accident coming a mile away and had no idea what to do.

But thankfully we figured it out. I put on Penguin Movie which we haven't seen in eons. He peed right in the potty before the previews even STARTED! Yup, sure you didn't have to go. But what I can't understand is why he hates the potty later in the day. Seriously, each potty visit is harder than the last and by the end of the day he basically refuses to go at all. Our last accident was actually when Stephen was watching him and he was sitting on the massage table. Stephen actually got a little mad which is kind of unusual for him.

Le sigh.

By the time I got Ben to the bath, we were all insanely tired. He'd been screaming and getting into things and making a big ol mess of anything he came near. We get into the bathroom, and he goes for the toilet paper. About a third of a roll in .5 seconds. And then he threw a bunch of it in the bath. AGHHGHGHHGHGHHHHHH!!!

Things were better in the bath, he calmed down some and did some listening. All was going well until we got out. He tried to get back in, with his towel and I told him that bath was all done. So he bolted straight to the toilet paper. Double handed unrolling. And as much of it as possible into the draining bath. In an instant.

So. Onto the title of this post. I thought to myself while nursing Ben to sleep, what happened to my baby?

This lead me to two separate trains of thought. Why on earth would I want ANOTHER child when I'm so close to strangling this one? What makes me think that I could watch two? And live? They'll tag team me ... one will destroy things while the the other cries and then I'll go to clean up the destroyed stuff and someone will bite or pinch or cry and then I'll lose one and I just can't imagine what the hell I'm thinking.

But I really thought about why it is that I want another baby. Not just the two kids was always the goal in the long run. Not just so much that I want a daughter so much that it physcially hurts me to think about it for too long. It's that I want my baby back. And since Ben will never get younger, the only way to recaptures those wonderful sweet little newbaby moments is to have another one.

I wondered if people would have so many kids if there were time machines and you could just go back and visit your first at any age. Hmmm.

Cause seriously, if Stephen came to me and said "Throw out your pills! Let's make a baby tonight!!!!" I'm not sure I could do it. I am THAT tired.

I spent the whole six and a half hours that I slept last night dreaming about potty training. That's right, dry pants are so much a part of my life now that they're infecting my dreams.

I just want a little break.

PS: the newest good news is that it turns out that not only did he go to sleep at 8:15, he did it BY HIMSELF with zero get ups. Wow. That's one tired kid.

How many flavors was that again?

To motivate Ben with his potty-learning, I've been giving him treats for two reasons. One level for staying dry, and one level for going in the potty. I read once that just giving reinforcement for going in the potty doens't get the whole message across. Then they get the idea that it's good to go in the potty, but not that they have to do it everytime. Just when its convienient for them.

Rewarding for dry pants is a completely different mentality. It's not saying "You have to use the potty" it's saying "Mama likes dry pants." It's hard to explain why it works differently, but it does. If you do this technique completely the way its recommended, you're not really supossed to make a deal out of using the potty at all. Rewards are for potty sits (trying, regardless of success) and for dry pants. This is supossed to keep him from feeling pressured or stage-fright or whatever. But I can't help but get really excited when he pees in the potty, so I'm kind of doing a combo approach.

Anyway, I decided to go out and get some special potty treats for dry pants. Out of nostalgia and a general good memory of them, I went with a box of Jelly Bellies. A pre-mixed set. Like 40 flavors.

And do you know the problem with Jelly Bellies? You can't tell what you're getting (yes, even if you pore over the little chart thing that they include) until you put it in your mouth. It's the worst guesing game ever. Will it be chocolate pudding? Or will it be root beer? Ewwwww!!!!

Ben asked for a "black one" the other day after using the potty and I gave it to him, warning him that Mama doesn't even like black ones, and that if he didn't like it, it was OK.

I seriously should have taken photos. I've never seen him so confused. He's like "It's candy. I like candy. But it's bad!!!! What's wrong with the candy? Why is it broken?"

Ha ha ha. I'd give up on the Jelly Bellies completely except for one problem. What's that? Juicy pear. OMG, if you've never had juicy pear Jelly Bellies, it's worth going out and getting a whole box just to pick out the pear ones. Mmmmmmm. Pear.

Thankfully, I like more than just the one flavor (I really like the popcorn ones, which I've heard makes me weird/rare) and interestingly Ben likes a lot of the ones that I don't, like Tutti Fruiti and Orange and Lemon-Lime. Ha ha ha.

Playing ain't what it used to be

Do you know what would be a cool job? Designing children's play equipment. See, from what I was able to dredge out of my ancient brain, when I was a kid, a jungle gym was a jungle gym. You had your basic monkey bars, a slide or two and that was it. If it was a good park, there might be some swings or perhaps you'd hit the jackpot and there would be a tire swing.

It is my personal opinion that all the tire swings are now gone from the world because a park designer actually witnessed them being used once. This then caused that person to say "Holy crap, what were we thinking?!?!?!?"

Tire swings were one of the most deadly things ever invented and marketed toward children. I don't know what you did on a tire swing when you were a kid, but I know that I would pile on it with a whole bunch of other kids, WAY more than the recommended number, which I believe might have been three, and some big huge kid in junior high that was technically too old to be getting his jollies at a park anyway would push the big ol' hog pile of kids up into the stratosphere. Whoever was the littlest on the swing would get scared and start crying, which always made the big kid push harder. This continued until somebody fell off and bit it in the sawdust or little pebbles or whatever else they thought would be a "safe" landing zone for little kids being launched at a velocity of 238 miles an hour off of a tire swing.

It always ended in blood. And not once did it ever occur to us not to get on the damn thing, because hey, everyone else was doing it and didn't it look like so much fun? So I'm very glad that I've never seen one in all the parks I've ever taken my son to.

So clearly, somebody came through in the past 15-20 years since I was a kid and remodeled all the parks to take out the death traps for children and replace them with newfangled high tech, specially enginerered developmentally formulated fancy play equipment 3000.

The stuff they have at parks these days is beyond anything my poor little raised in the '80s mind could possibly dream of. There are bridge and weird step things, and seesaws that are fun without being launch pads for the smaller child. There are 543 kinds of slides and 83,434 things for kids to climb up and on. And somehow, they've kept the fear of death right there on the surface of the equipment (because that's what little kids want when they go to the park, right?) but taken the actual RISK of death down to a reasonable .5 percent or so. I mean, nothing is perfectly safe, and you have to just assume that if your 2-year-old is playing too close to a snarky 7-year-old that pushing could happen at any moment. But seriously, they guard rails are better, the materials are better (no more splinters from wooden equimpent, or burns from metal slides) and the creativity is better.

All this stems from my taking Ben to a park in Renton that I used to go to as a child and being bowled over at what has been done with the place since I was last there. They had two play structures, one that was labeled "Appropriate for children ages 2-5" and another that was labeled "Appropriate for ages 6-12."

Want to guess which one Ben wanted to play on? Thankfully, it was during school, so there were no actual 6-12 year olds to mow him down, but I was up there with him, standing behind him every step of the way, because there was some scary looking stuff up there and I didn't know what to expect. My child has been known to pull a "Chuckie" every once in awhile, and I figured I should be around to help him find his way down.

To his credit, he was amazingly brave. The thing that struck me the most about this play structure was they had a place up high where there were some stairs that had gaps in between them. You could see ALL THE WAY DOWN and of course the gaps were small enough that the worst that could happen is Ben's foot could get caught or maybe he might fall all the way to his waist. That would take some effort though. But to my toddler, it looked like THE BIGGEST SCARIEST THING HE'D EVER SEEN!!!!

He had both hands superglued to the vertical handrailing (like crib bars) as he carefully placed one foot on the first step. I verbally coached him through it, telling him to move his hands to the next blue bar while putting his foot on the next step. There were six total steps and when he made it to the top without my having to help or even hold his hand, I gave him like 20 highfives and a big hug and told him how proud I was. He was beaming.

And then I cried because I know it's moments like these that I'll think back to when he's adjusting his tie on his wedding day and asking me how he looks. The answer?

Absolutely perfect.



(boy, this post ended up in a completely different place than it started out, huh?)

Calling all procrastinators

So I was shopping around on the Coupon Chief Web site today, laughing about all the last minute Valentine's Day deals they have going right now. But I can't laugh too hard, because it's not like I've done any of MY Valentine's Day shopping yet. Whoops.

But Valentine's Day is like the one time that you're allowd to procrastinate, because who wants week-old droopy flowers? I'm sure my mom with much prefer the shiny fresh ones that I will be picking up for her tomorrow.

But if you're the kind of person that buys actual gifts for Valentine's Day, you should check out these Target coupons because Target rocks and has the best stuff ever. It's probably where I will be picking up a card for my husband. (At this point in our debt-paying existence, I really shouldn't get anything more than that.)

But if we were in a good place financially, do you know who'd be getting Valentine's Day love? BEN!!! You should see the awesome Children's Place coupons and the adorable stuff they have. Simply adorable.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone

Learning heaven

I found this store downtown today with a ton of stuff for kids. It's almost a toy store, but more like a learning store. It had art supplies and books and puzzles and toys, but only good ones. Lots of Melissa and Doug stuff. I think it was like a homeschooling supply store or something I don't know. All I know is that Ben sat and played with a wooden Thomas the Train set for like 20 minutes without getting into trouble while I shopped and drooled all over everything. He also found a little wooden tool/peg set thing that he played nicely with.

I finally chose my purchase, a pack of three books about numbers with a dry erase marker, crayons and stickers all included. It also has a cd with more stuff to color. I guess you put it in the computer and then print out more coloring book pages. That's pretty awesome for $10. We were happy campers.

And the sticker book was a huge hit! We spent about 25 minutes putting stickers in the book this afternoon. And if you know my son, you know that anything that causes him to sit still and do one thing for that long is a miraculous invention.

We've been visited by a fairy

Last night, Ben was up from 11:30 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. and it was horrible and we all wanted to die. I knew he'd been teething for quite some time now, from his finger and clothes chewing. We even went out and bought him some popsicles the other day because he's been so miserable.

Obviously, popsicles weren't an option in the middle of the night, so I went ahead and gave him two tylenol meltaway tablets. (He calls them "medicine candies" and was happy for the idea.) STILL no luck. Finally, Stephen took him out of our bed and layed down with him in his own bed and he went to sleep. At least he managed to sleep through the rest of the night from that point until 8:45 when we got up.

This morning, I found out why the medicine didn't work. He spit it out!!! Both tablets were in the bed smooshed under the sheets. Well, no wonder! Grr. I'm so frustrated because we were pretty harsh with him by the end, assuming there was no way he could still be in pain and was just being obnoxious. Why would he spit it out? He begs for that stuff. Mmmm grape.

Anyway, as we were laying down for our nap (this is a completely different story that I'll have to get to later) he said, "Mouf no more ouchie. Mouf all better." And he even let me look. Sure enough, the first of his four 2-year molars has finally broken the surface.

Hallelujah!

Waste not, want not

I heard a factoid in 8th grade that has stuck with me throughout my life. "Your garbabge disposal eats better than half of the world's population"

At the time, I didn't really understand it. I thought, why would people want to eat orange peels and egg shells. But once I did get it, I strove to make sure it wasn't true. If I didn't finish my meal, even if it was only by a few bites, it went back in the fridge.

The same held true for Ben, and since he's a baby, this obviously happens a lot. He doesn't eat a whole yogurt, he eats like 1/5 of it. So I usually put the rest back and he finishes it over the next couple days.

Well, my mom took one look at how fast her fridge was filling up with open yogurt and cans of peaches and half-eaten string cheeses, and she snipped at me that this wasn't going to work.

So now I'm stuck with either finishing everything that Ben doesn't eat (yipes! that will make me fat quickly) or throwing it away. That's pretty sad too. I've already thrown away pieces of hot dog bun and smashed banana. And I know I'm not really stealing food from third world countries when I do it, but it still sucks.

Clean again

I was just talking today about how nice it feels to be warm and not have to worry about how much every degree is costing, but there's even more than that. I was in our "apartment" with Ben, letting him have some free play (it's almost toddler proof!) while I put laundry away. I was folding some of his older T-shirts, which are now only used as pajamas because they're so gross. I don't know if you've ever smelled a shirt that has been constantly drooled on, but it really is gross. Most of Ben's shirts smell like dishrags.

So we get him new clothes every so often (thankfully, this has so far corresponded approximately with when he would outgrow things anyway) and make his old clothes for sleeping only so that no one thinks he's gross for smelling like a dishrag. It totally ruins the sweet smell of his soft skin and freshly washed hair.

Anyway, I was folding the shirts, and noticed that I didn't notice the smell. So I bravely pressed my nose into the collar of the T-shirt. Mmmm. Detergent.

!!!

Who knew that all this time, our discount detergent was the cause of Ben's clothes not coming clean? Our clothes came clean just fine, so I always thought that it was just some sort of toxic toddler goo that didn't come out. Nope. Mom's super pricy stuff did the trick. Man, it sure is nice to have luxery stuff around without having to pay for it ourselves!

teh cute

It is really too bad that the bottom half of this picture isn't useable because Ben looks so adorable dancing in my nylons and shoes. But at least you can see him for the ham that he truly is in this now completely SFW cropped photo.





That's my boy. One of these days, I'll have to put a video up of him dancing to "Penguin Movie" (Happy Feet) because he just goes crazy during the part where Mumble is dancing alone on the hilltop. He likes to say "be himself" outloud with the movie too. I swear, it's the cutest thing on the entire planet.

My cross-dressing kid

After coming home from "going to work together" last night, Ben decided that he needed to go to work too. In order to go to work, first we have to put on our "nylon socks" and then we need our shoes.

Time to go to work Mama!


(you can see the white socks he was previously wearing on the ground, as well as the animals who are both always around whenever pictures are being taken.)



Phew. Hey Mama, did you know that working is hard work?



The most amusing part about all of this is that he isn't wearing a diaper underneath that super-big T-shirt (when he goes pee-pee in his potty, he is rewarded with some diaper-free time which he is always thrilled about) and there's one picture where you can see. Sadly, it was the very best picture because he was dancing in the nylons and shoes and looked adorable. But I am not the kind of mom who would put photos of her naked baby on the internet. That's not a good idea for a phethora of reasons. :-)

Why is growing up so bittersweet?

Ben did not nurse tonight while I was home on my dinner break. This should be good news. Wasn't I weaning him? Wait. Why was that again?

So, first I wanted to get my fertility back, I guess to see if there was anything wrong with me and to start charting. I thought it would take months and months. Well, that's taken care of.

Next, I wanted to learn to chart, but know that being new, there could be an accident. Previously that was OK with me. What's the difference if things happen eight months earlier than we planned? It's just a few months, right? Well, Stephen's new job won't provide us with health insurance until he's worked there for six months. So now, that six months is vital. There can be no accidents. So, in our best financial interests, I switched back to the combo pill, knowing its a lot stronger than the mini pill and we'd be much safer from accidents.

Can't chart on the pill. I mean, you could, but it'd be silly. So really, I'll take the pills up until the insurance kicks in and then start charting, I guess.

I knew that the combo pill makes your supply tank. That was OK with me, since we were weaning.

Now, I have a period, I'm taking combo pills, and we're moving. Ben is having a really tough time with all of it. Especially the moving. The house is different. We're always cleaning. He can't make messes any more. His stuff is rapidly disappearing. OUR stuff is rapidly disappearing. To a 2-year-old, this is his whole world turning upside down. He has already regressed a ton with his potty training. He refuses to go pee-pee in his potty now. He will sit on it for awhile, but only goes in his diaper. Stephen took the diaper off and kept putting him back on the potty over and over today, about every 20-30 minutes or so. Nothing. Finally, he goes into the corner and pees on the carpet. And then he says outloud, "No pee-pee on carpet!" and tries to clean up the wet spot WITH MY PURSE!!!!!!!! Le sigh.

I didn't make a deal out of it. I told Stephen just to let the potty thing go. If our house in upheaval is already traumatizing him, I can't even imagine what it will be like when Stephen leaves, and then when we live with my mom, and then when we live in a whole new place ... of course he's going to regress. We're kidding ourselves if we think anything otherwise.

So wouldn't it make sense to just put all the weaning plans on hold, since he will clearly be needing to nurse more for security as all these changes happen in his life? Of course it would! And I really have no other reasons for weaning at 2 other than the ones I mentioned. (I'm ignoring the mounting family pressure. Really, I swear.)

But I think it's too late. The pills have tanked my supply. Now I literally have just a few drops when I used to have ounces and ounces. He gets this sad look on his face when he nurses. He latches for a very short period of time and then asks to switch sides and then is done. I know there isn't milk. He knows there isn't milk. He's hanging on for the closeness, but I think he's starting to realize there's not much of a point. And all this crazy life stuff is happening and I wish I could take it back. But I can't. Really, in the grand scheme of things, I think him weaning at 2 is better than my accidentally getting pregnant before Stephen's health insurance kicks in.

I know it is. Ben will be OK in the end.

I just hate to see him go through the in-between.

It's not "stealing" its "borrowing"

We've sunk lower than low. We have a bunch of medical bills we've been ignoring that are starting to charge interest that we need to get paid. There are huge changes coming up soon in our lives, so I'm not worried about being able to pay the money back in the long run, but for now, we've decided that the best course of action to avoid increasing interest and borrowing more from credit cards that we then will not be able to pay down as fast because we're messing with our balance transfer interest rates is to use Ben's birthday/Hannukah money to pay down our bills. :-(

We both truly believe with all our hearts that it is his money, and we will be returning it ASAP and keeping it safe for him until he's old enough to choose what he wants to do with it. His grandpa has created a college account for him (I honestly have no idea how much is in there) but since none of the givers of this money specified that it be earmarked for college, we aren't going to add that requirement ourselves. It's Ben's money, to do with as he sees fit, as soon as he's old enough to understand there are other aspects to money besides "quarters for balls." We imagined how long he'd stay and play Skee-Ball at the arcade if he had 1,200 quarters and the answer is probably the rest of his life. :-)

Cost me all of 50 cents

After procrastinating for way too long, I finally dragged Stephen out today to pick up some invitations for Ben's rapidly approaching 2nd birthday party. We are mega-busy and now is not a good time to do this, but if I wait until I actual have the time, it will be like three days before the party and then I'll be sad when no one can come.

Anyway, I asked to go to Staples because I remember them having some really nice stuff and I wanted the invites to have a nicer, quality type appearance. Well, strangly, they don't have birthday invitations. They have thank you cards and baby announcements and baby shower invitations, but no birthday ones. Lame.

So, since there's really nowhere else to go in this little town, we ended up at Mal-Wart, again, and I picked out some invites that I liked. They were $6 for 20 invitations, which I thought was pretty fair. (Hopefully I don't need more than 20, yipes!) When we went to pay for them, they rang up for $0.50. They were clearance.

Sweet!

Music to my ears

Ha ha. I started out yesterday talking about the $4 video we got for Ben at Ross and ended up talking about why we got a new one but never actually explained what it was.

It’s like a knock-off Baby Einstein type product (which I do not approve of for babies, but think is fine for 2-year-olds) about the four seasons. It’s mostly real film of things like flowers, kids at the park, kids at the beach, fireworks, kids at a pumpkin patch (dressed up in costume — so cute) kids playing in leaves, kids sledding and some holiday lights. They even include a menorah, which makes me smile.

The whole thing is set to classical music so you can have it on while you do the dishes in the other room and not have to pull out your hair. At the very end, it switches to the ABC song (so you know its almost over and your kid’s gonna start looking for trouble) and amazingly, it seems to be teaching Ben his ABCs even better than Elmo. He knows about 1/3 of the letters now. A-H, and then O-U ish. And Z. Sort of. I think he thinks the letter is named “and Z” because he always says “and Z.” It’s too totally cute. Definitely worth $4.

Ka-pow = oh no

So even though we’re still struggling with the $$$, I approved of spending $4 on a new video for Ben. He watches a movie everysingletime he uses his potty, which is basically all the time now. As long as we’re home, the pull-ups are just catching accidents. (And poo-poo, but boy is that another story.)

Anyway, I wanted him to have a new movie because he was (or maybe Stephen was) getting tired of just watching Elmo all the time. First, Stephen put on Cars for him, which I was OK with, because it was rated G and really cute. But next, it was Powerpuff Girls, which is PG. OK, fine, because they were just watching the opening scenes where the girls are born and then go to Kindergarten and then play tag. Well, then Stephen kept letting him watch a little more each day and it was getting more and more violent. You knew it was bad because Ben was acting scared at the movie. So what do we do? Turn it off? Well, that’s what I wanted to do, but Stephen was talking him through it, helping him to feel excited instead of scared. And it wasn’t long before I found myself doing it too. We were trying to cheer him up by desentizing him to the violence.

“Ka-pow! Go Powerpuff Girls! Get those bad monkeys! Yay, Powerpuff Girls save the day!”

And sure enough, he wasn’t bothered by it anymore. And even surer enough, it was only a few more hours before it occured to him to take a pillow off the couch and attack Blinx with it. “Bad kitty! Ben-Ben get you!” I pulled the pillow from him, told him he could hit the pillow with his fists or yell into it, but he couldn’t hit the cat with it. I turn around 30 seconds later and he’s hitting Blinx with his fists! Dammit.

What frustrates me the most is that Stephen just doesn’t seem to see this. He thinks, “Oh, he’s being a boy. All boys go through this type of stage. We teach him that kitties have feelings and put him in time-out if he does it again and he learns what the rules are. No biggie.”

And I guess those things are fine enough, but why set him up to fail, you know? We show him videos of little girls beating up on monkeys, we cheer them on, and then we tell him he can’t beat on his cats? Why aren’t we cheering for him? You get the idea. Whoever thinks violence on television doesn’t cause it in kids clearly never sat down and actually paid attention to their kids. It’s quite obvious to me.

These boots were made for splashing

I insisted on celebrating last night, even though it would make more sense to celebrate making money by not spending it, that isn't how I work. So we went out to dinner at Happy Teriyaki and then did a little shopping. It was mostly necessary shopping though, I swear! We got more pull-up ("Carrots still there, bunnies on 'em") diapers and a really cheap movie. (Seriously, this is what Ben says to differentiate between the pull-ups and the old baby diapers. Unless he uses one and then it's "Carrots all gone, bunnies on 'em") We also got him some new shoes to replace the ones we ruined. I know, poor people should not ruin their child's only pair of shoes, but we didn't do it on purpose!

We'd gone for a walk in the rain the other day and managed to get all the way to the school (they have a covered play area that both the kid and the dog really appreciate visiting when it's raining) and most of the way home with no incidents when Ben took off running and started stomping in a puddle. His shoes were soaked all the way through, but we still had to go grocery shopping that day. Since they are his only shoes, our options were: Go another day, bring him without shoes, have one of us stay home with him and the other go alone, or try to dry out the shoes. We chose option 4, try to dry out the shoes. We propped them up by the heater vent and turned it up full-blast. Well, the shoes were dry in about 15 minutes but the little liner things in the soles shrunk up and fell out. (They were $10 shoes from Payless. Why spend a lot on shoes he's just going to outgrow?) Well, we'd only had them for a few months and they were still a little big on him ... so we were very sad. Stephen said we'd just make do and have him wear them anyway, making sure that he always has socks on (he hates socks and usually doesn't wear them). This worked OK I guess, but I just feel like a bad person. They can't be comforatable with no cushion under his feet. If I'm bringing in all this extra money that we weren't even counting on, surely we can afford a new pair of shoes for our son.

So we shopped around and I didn't really like anything that we saw. Everything was either ugly or expensive. Some pairs were both! So we headed back to Payless. (It wasn't THEIR fault that the first pair fell apart, you know?) We tried three pairs on him, the $10 pair were kinda cute, but wouldn't really go with very many of his outfits. The second pair, $17, were pretty cute, and actually looked a lot like the pair we were replacing. We were just about to get them when I saw a pair of brown boots — also $17 on sale. The giant sign on them said "WATERPROOF" and I heard the cheesy little "Hallelujah" chorus in my head. Brilliant! All children's shoes should be waterproof.

We bought them and he wore them out of the store. He wasn't thrilled, because they are heavy and clunky and slow him down quite a bit. Plus, he likes to take his shoes off in the car and he was extra grumpy that he couldn't kick these off. (They are tie shoes, but have a secret zipper on the inside for easy on and off for parents. Again, I restate that these are awesome shoes!) So when I got up this morning, I was happy to see that it had rained last night. We'll be sure to go for an afternoon walk today and I'll show him that it's OK to jump in the puddles now because new boots protect our feet. After that, I bet he'll take to them just fine.

Toddler talk

Ben is starting to try to talk in the beat and structure of adult conversation, but he has no idea what he's doing, so you get things like this.

"Mama lap hold you pick up you computer time mama you play please"

Even if you translate every you to a me, it still is iffy on the making sense scale. I mean, his meaning is clear: "Mama, may I sit in your lap and play on the computer please?" but he's got a long way to go before the grammar, syntax and agreement are all there. And its not like I'm complaining that my not-even-2-year-old son doesn't speak in perfect English. It's just funny to leap from baby talk "Mama up peese. Computer peese" to the rhytem of adult language. I wonder what inspired him to start trying so hard to talk like us? Regardless, its totally cute.

But my kid is so smart!

My stepmom sent this to me. It's been bugging me all day, in that I feel frustrated and defensive but can't see why I should. I mean, I want to be like, "Dude I was reading at age 2 and I turned out great!" but that's the dumbest thing in the world to say. I was also formula-fed, and that doesn't mean that its OK just because I got lucky and didn't suffer any problems. I am the first person to research these types of thnigs, cosleeping, nursing, letting little kids be little and all that jazz. But I'm so freaking proud that Ben is so smart and that he is not even two and knows so many letters already: B, o, f, and sometimes a and n. We read to him all the time. Isn't that what ALL the experts say? Read to your kids? Chicka Chicka Boom Boom is like his favorite book on the planet. I mean, I'm all for creative art play and playdough and stuff.

I dunno. I think I'm feeling this discontent because she's probably right and I'm probably not going to change anything which is going to make me feel guilty in the long run. I guess.

letter:

Hi Suz,
 
I found the information about early vs later reading.  It basically has to do with where the child is developmentally.  Young children are very imaginative and think in pictures – if you cut this short by moving too soon to reading and other ‘left brain’ activities, then you start losing some of that lovely, imaginative quality to their lives.
 
What I have found is that parents should ‘follow’ their child, just like you did with breast-feeding; wait to ‘teach’ reading until he is developmentally ready. 
 
Here is part of the article about Waldorf education, and more importantly, about what is going on with kids at what age.  Of course, they also don’t have kids watch any TV until I can’t remember – 7 or 8?
 
It is your decision of course – I just wanted to make this material available to you and Stephen, because the culture around us all tends to say: ‘teach em early’.  Just like it says ‘put them in their own bed from day 1’ and other stuff.

An Introduction to Waldorf Education
Don’t Rush the Young Child
Storytelling, songs, rhythmical games, handwork, painting, singing, and lots of free play with toys that lend themselves to many uses, help to develop both imaginative forces and social skills. A child lives with a constantly growing mastery of the physical world. In these early years, a young child’s thought has a pictorial and dreamy quality, quite unlike the thinking of an adult.  Formative forces are still working to mold the young body and brain.  At about age seven, these forces are freed to develop memory and intellect.  Prematurely awakening a child’s intellect by asking the child to focus on academics in what should be the imitative phase, means that full development of imaginative powers will be hampered. The child will become less truly himself.

The value of early academics has never been proven, but its harm has been clearly documented by such internationally recognized psychologists as David Elkind and educators such as A. C. Harwood.  No two children are alike in the way they learn.  Reading, like walking, speaking, and thinking, appears when the child is mature enough to integrate all the skills needed.  True, reading can be hurried, but there is a cost: emotionally, psychologically, and/or academically. 

A study by the Gesell Institute measured reading skills of children who began reading at age 3 to 5, against the skills of children who began reading much later, at age 6 to 8. The study found that by the third grade both groups of children had similar skill level, but the children who began reading later had a much greater interest in exploring reading.

Waiting until a child is in first grade before starting academic work has obvious advantages for an average or slow child who needs the time to gain maturity before beginning reading or math.  But what to do with the bright child who wants to start writing or reading at age three or four? Here is a chance to share their excitement and declare “You will be able to learn all about that when you get to first grade!”.  You need not sit down and give the children formal lessons at a young age, merely because they are interested in letters and numbers. There are many letter and number games for young children that can provide satisfaction.  Songs with rhymes counting can also be an endless source of delight to the young child.Tell a story or read from one book at a sitting, allowing the child to fully enter into the mood of each story.

My perfect little pumpkin

During my break from work on Saturday, my husband dragged me to a garage sale at our neighbor's house. There was something I had to see, which is pretty unusual. He's not normally into garage sales and the like. Anyway, we got there and this woman was selling a ton of kids stuff, including (bum bum bum ... ) HOMEMADE Halloween costumes! She had a fuzzy pumpkin one that fit Ben perfectly! I'm so glad that he's not going to be a Mal-wart Elmo.

Seriously, we do not need to support them and we do not need to have him dressed like every other kid in this teeny tiny town. (We were back there on Sunday picking up pull-ups and the Elmo costumes were sold out anyway, so we got doubly lucky!)

I'm glad to help out this woman who had all these costumes she made for her kids and grandkids just hanging around, and I'm glad to buy something made with love instead of mass-produced in China. And I'm glad that it was only $5!!!!!!!!

We are on our way to escaping this rat race, I just know it.

Letting the baby drive

After we went out to breakfast this morning for my birthday (paid for by very generous friends, yay!) we weren't sure what to do with ourselves. It was 9 a.m. on a Saturday and we were already out, dressed and fed. Nothing here is really open that early, so Stephen decided to offer to let Ben choose what we would do. He asked him if he wanted to go home or on a drive.

He picked drive. And then, just for fun, we went ahead and let him choose where we'd go. Not like, "where do you want to go?" but like, every time we came to an intersection, we'd say "left, right or straight?" and he'd pick. And amazingly, in a slightly, but actually not very roundabout way, he started heading the car straight for the mall! Ha ha ha. We warned him that the mall doesn't open until 10 a.m. on Saturday, but that we would look just to be sure. (That way, we weren't the bad guys by saying "no") and sure enough, Penny's was having a special early bird promotion. Every thing in the store was super on sale. We got holiday gifts for my mom and his mom, and still had $10 left to spend to get a $10 off coupon. So basically, we were shopping for free at that point. Stephen found the clearance rack in his section and picked out three really nice polo type shirts that were on sale for $2.97. These were $30 shirts!!! Not like he needs shirts, but we got three nice ones for free, so hey, who can argue?

Next we went out into the mall, (it was 10 a.m. by now) and were planning on letting Ben do what he wanted, but then we saw that the liquidation store had closed for good and was putting shopping carts out front of their leftover merchandise, marked FREE.

Holy crap! We got lightbulbs, several books, some clothes, an Easter basket for Ben and some kale seeds for next spring. Actually, we got more than that but I don't remember it all. A Halloween mask, I think. Anyway, our Penny's receipt said we saved $150 and who knows how much all the free liquidation store stuff was worth. All because we decided to let Ben drive. :-)