Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Stumped

I just spent the last 10 minutes in the bathroom with my head between my knees unable to move. Three people came and went while I was in there. Don't ask me what was/is wrong, because I don't know. I just seriously could not make myself get up. I wasn't feeling sick, persay, just like not moving. I wanted to go home. Maybe for the day. Maybe forever. I don't know. I tried to tell myself that its not my job that's making me unhappy. Only I can make me unhappy. And if I don't control the internal, it won't matter what I do with the external. I'll just find something else to be unhappy about.

The thing was, I wasn't sitting there in the bathroom saying, "I'm so unhappy, I can't do this." I just actually couldn't do it. It's hard to explain. And then, in the same I-have-no-idea-what's-going-on here-style, I just got up and came back to my desk. I don't remember deciding to do so, or finally "winning" the internal struggle I was having. I was just better. And that's not to say that I'm suddenly like, "I love my job, please oh please give me more work," but whatever it was, it passed.

4 comments:

Kate said...

For me that would be a clear-cut sign that I have pms ... just sayin.

Say, if I click on those google ads, do you make money?

thesynergizer said...

haven't had a period in more than two years ... is this what it feels like? I forget ...
Google's term's of service tells me I'm not allowed to answer that question. ;-)

Kate said...

That's what it feels like for me.
Clicky clicky.

thesynergizer said...

Well I dont' think that was it, as this was a couple of days ago and still nothing. I'm really getting the sense that I will have to completely wean before I get my period back ... its been so long, you know?

and i had to read your comment like eight times to get the last part. I kept on trying to click the words, and going, "hmmm, maybe she messed up the html" ... LOL!