Wednesday, August 22, 2007


I just spent the last 10 minutes in the bathroom with my head between my knees unable to move. Three people came and went while I was in there. Don't ask me what was/is wrong, because I don't know. I just seriously could not make myself get up. I wasn't feeling sick, persay, just like not moving. I wanted to go home. Maybe for the day. Maybe forever. I don't know. I tried to tell myself that its not my job that's making me unhappy. Only I can make me unhappy. And if I don't control the internal, it won't matter what I do with the external. I'll just find something else to be unhappy about.

The thing was, I wasn't sitting there in the bathroom saying, "I'm so unhappy, I can't do this." I just actually couldn't do it. It's hard to explain. And then, in the same I-have-no-idea-what's-going-on here-style, I just got up and came back to my desk. I don't remember deciding to do so, or finally "winning" the internal struggle I was having. I was just better. And that's not to say that I'm suddenly like, "I love my job, please oh please give me more work," but whatever it was, it passed.


Kate said...

For me that would be a clear-cut sign that I have pms ... just sayin.

Say, if I click on those google ads, do you make money?

thesynergizer said...

haven't had a period in more than two years ... is this what it feels like? I forget ...
Google's term's of service tells me I'm not allowed to answer that question. ;-)

Kate said...

That's what it feels like for me.
Clicky clicky.

thesynergizer said...

Well I dont' think that was it, as this was a couple of days ago and still nothing. I'm really getting the sense that I will have to completely wean before I get my period back ... its been so long, you know?

and i had to read your comment like eight times to get the last part. I kept on trying to click the words, and going, "hmmm, maybe she messed up the html" ... LOL!