Achieve it

You know that cheesy old addage, "Anything you can conceive and believe, you can achieve"? That kind of inspriational message is usually found on posters in the guidance counselor's office at a high school. And even when I was IN high school, and like the cheeriest, giggliest girl you could ever imagine meeting, those posters made me want to barf. There was one of a bird trying to eat a frog and the frog was already in the bird's mouth but he used his froggy hands to squeeze the bird's neck closed and the text read, "Never, ever give up" or something like that. It's kind of a nice idea, but even then I knew that there are some things that you should just give up on.

Take me for example. A realistic dream was to be a journalist. Everyone told me that I was good at writing, I seemed to enjoy it, and I really loved layout. But if my dream was to be a singer, a la Carrie Underwood? There are not enough voice lessons in the world to fix the fact that my tone is bad and when I think I'm matching what I hear, I'm actually painfully flat. (I can hear this quite clearly when listening to myself played back on a tape. Just not while I'm actually singing for some unknown reason.)

So the dream I entertained as a child of being a rock star was out. Just plain out. No amount of dreaming and believing was going to make it happen.

Well, what about my current dream? To be at home with my kid(s) and maybe someday train to help and support other nursing women? With our family's finances? How will we get by without my steady income?

For awhile, it felt like that dream was too far on the rock star side of things. I struggled to earn a few extra $$$ here and there. I was thrilled to make $5 every few days. And now? With hard work, perserverance and some dumb luck, I really feel like I am starting to turn my life around. We had problems and I said, I will not let these problems stop me from following my dreams. I found a solution and I worked at it, HARD, for a very long time. And now everything looks so rosy I'm starting to wonder what else I could accomplish if I set my mind to it. I am very stubborn, you know :-)